Dear you

Dear Lucy,

I hope you don't mind me writing, (haha - see what I did there? yup, I'll leave now) I want to thank you. I saw you at the Leadmill. Y'know Ruthie with sparkle-y cast? Yeah anyway, I just want to express my appreciation.

First off, you smashed it last night, granted I couldn't really see ya, you sounded great! The atmosphere was incredible and the mix of songs from all three albums was utterly sensational (as ever, I'll add). I really don't know how you get better every time I come to see you.

I took my mum for the first time. She's also physically disabled and is in a wheelchair. She hasn't been to a gig in ages and to be honest she was pretty nervous of the crowds. I think, along with everyone else there, she had a blast!

Like I said she really doesn't like crowds, incase she gets knocked or something, pretty reasonable but I told her most sprags are really understanding and respectful. What I didn't expect is for one random sprag to shield my mum from the people who were going to the bar. I know for a fact if that was any other fan base it probably wouldn't have happened. That person could have got a great spot but decided to protect my mum. I think that's a credit to not only you but most of the community you've created. 

Also, I know this isn't really related but congratulations on fostering and doing restbite. I'm so jealous of whichever kid gets you and G (+ Steve) as foster parents, you both are so kind to the sprags there's no doubt they are going to adore you. When I was younger I had bits of restbite every now and again and I can tell you are going to be brilliant, granted it's hard but worth it! Like I said last night I'm always available ;) 

Basically that's it, just thank you xxxx

Sent from my iPhone

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On my mind......

Hi,

This has been bothering me for a while- so here's a post about it. YAY!

I've said this before and I'll happily say it again - I despise being labelled an inspiration. 

At the moment I'm recovering from an operation on my foot and I'm not only in a cast and crutches, but also being carted in a wheelchair. If you know me, you know my annoyance at this and how at the moment my self-respect and esteem are rock bottom cause I'm sticking out like a sore thumb even more than usual. 

Some people (able-bodied I'm going to add) think that it's acceptable that because in the rehabilitation stage of the op that I need to be told that I'm a fighter or I'm an inspiration to encourage and lift my spirits  (cringe) no mate. I may be even more mobility impaired than usual - but it's my leg that's messed up - not my brain.   No matter what state I look like I'm in - I'm not going to sit around and be inspiration porn. I'm like any of my friends, just that it seems that whoever upstairs decided to mess my body up a little and I'm left with a pretty crappy right side- no big deal I function perfectly well. 

I feel the phase 'inspiration porn' sum up these last few weeks pretty well. I'm exposed and people are watching and what's even worse is that they are getting a kick out of patronising me, they don't realise they are but, it the simplest of terms they are sort of turning me into an object of inspiration to make themselves feel great about their own lives. 

It's exactly the same thing when on fb you see someone run with prosthetic legs and the caption says 'what's your excuse?' Making the reader place the PWD as a super human when most likely  all they wanted to do was go for a run like anyone else!

The worse thing is that I know everyone around me who doing this is thrilled with me for 'persevering' and 'overcoming obstacles' and are telling me this all with good intentions but it just makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide - I just want to be treat the same as any one of my peers - is that so much to ask?

This post isn't about every person I know - so don't freak out if you think it's you. Actually to be fair it's about nobody outside of school really so yeah most of you who read it are fine

Byeeeeeeee