What happened on Tuesday.......

Hi,

I've been quiet the last few weeks,so sorry for that! I didn't know when to post this so how about right now?


On Tuesday, I met up with 2 lecturers of social work from the university of Sheffield to talk about my blog and the prospect of working with them with the living library project they are working on. But more on that at a later date.

I was also asked to give feedback on the first year MA students presentations. So after lunch, I had a salad (I know! I'm amazed I stuck to my resolution too!), me,my mum and one of the the lecturers went to another block where the presentations were being presented and recorded; it was documented so the students can assess it for something. Anyway it was really cool.

The students were given the topic 'a day in my life', they had to make a poster about it, then present and explain it to social service users, in this case me! And we gave 5 minutes of feedback. Your probably wondering why on earth would this be part of the course but I guess it gives the students an idea of how they need to be like, in terms of explaining etc.

For me it was really interesting. This could be because of 2 reasons- I am a extremely nosey person, no joke or maybe it was because, mostly, they all seemed 'social-worker-y' like I could imagine them all as social workers, weird as that is. The thing that made me laugh was how nervous they were, one student literally spoke like she was Eminem rapping, I mean I get why she did that but calm down- we aren't that intense,are we? The two that I remember most are the first guy we saw and the last one, this is mainly because they were so 'relaxed' they sang. relaxed is in inverted comas because there was a tiny bit of pressure involved- Before you think we are horrible humans,in our defence they both put on their posters that they went to karaoke on the day they modelled it on so it sort of was compulsory.

So that's what I've been up to. School on Monday ugghhhh!

Anyway

Byeeeeeeeee

Disability dating

Hi,


So this is a topic I'm not familiar with at all: dating people when you have a disability. I'm no expert on this, I've never experienced it but it's a hurdle most disabled people have so that's why I'm writing about it.

Where to start? Well I once read that 95% of abled-bodied people age between 14-21 would never think of dating a physically disabled person. That's terrible. Why? I mean just because we have a wheelchair or whatever it makes us practically undateable.

Another thing that show 'the undateable' which has mostly some kind of person with disabilities on it, always makes me annoyed as we are HUMAN beings and are dateable it is just society's closed mind saying we aren't.

Anyway and everyone says it isn't all about looks but it is! Yeah you might be attracted to their intelligence; surely you have to be attracted by the way they look a little bit, everyone is.its so sad really that great people get turned down just because of their physical appearance. Arrrrrggghhhhhh!!! Why is everyone so close minded???????????

I have a friend at school who has a disability (I don't know what it is) and he is in a wheelchair and he's being going out with this girl for about a year and everything was fine, I think, and she dumped him. Her reason to him? Because he has a disability and it was pointless because of that. I mean what? Is it pointless when they first got together? Surely not as she wouldn't have stayed with him. I simply don't get it if that's the only reason they split.  And that has annoyed me, a lame excuse. In my opinion it doesn't even add up. I really don't know why what how. But it's not right at all.

Sorry it's a bit short

Byeeeeeeeeee

Language

Hi,

Recently I've been reading in to ableist slurs/language and how it ends up in everyday conversations. It really struck me about how naive I've been when a. using this language myself and b. not realising when others are using it either towards me or others in the disabled community. it has been surreally eye opening for me to learn about this so I thought I would give you guys some of the key information I've learnt.

Please understand that most of the language that I'm about to use may not be classed as slurs but as ableist. You are not an automatic evil/horrible/anti disabled type of person if you use this language as a one off, it's when you,direct it to someone or use it when you fully understand the under laying meaning and, use it constantly:that's when you are classed as the list above. But it's worthwhile if you do intend to change the language you use every day life.

The saddest thing Is language is a powerful tool of oppression towards the disabled community. For those, me likewise, who are going to try and change the language they use, we can uncover the way we abuse the slurs into some sort of sick joke 

important note: Many people who identify with particular disabilities or disability in general may use words from this list in an act of reclaiming the language. You may well too! BUT if you do not identify with a particular disability/disabled identity, be sure that the person  you are with don't mind you using the terms as some may take personal offence to it and that's no good. 

Here are some common words you may joke about with and words that you could use instead 

Ableist language 

Blind to ____ / turn a blind eye to ____ .
Refers to Blind people or people with visual impairments

Confined to a wheelchair
Refers to people with physical or mobility disabilities.

Crazy 
Refers to people with mental or psychiatric disabilities/distress.

 Cripple/Crippled (by ____)

Refers to people with physical or mobility disabilities. (Personally I am proud to use this when I'm describing myself!)

 Derp 
Refers to people with intellectual disabilities

Differently abled
Can refer to any person with a disability. (Come on! No need to sugar coat it! we all know we are disabled. Why not say that?)

Handicap(ped)
Refers to people with physical or mobility disabilities. (Stop focusing on people's physical look their mind is so much better)

Imbecile
Refers to people with intellectual disabilities.

Insane or Insanity
Refers to people with mental or psychiatric disabilities. (This one bugs me)

Lame
Refers to people with physical or mobility disabilities

Mental/Mental Case
Refers to people with mental or psychiatric disabilities. (No, the gig you went to wasn't 'mental')

Retard(ed)/[anything]-tard
Refers to people with intellectual disabilities. (This hurts)

Spaz(zed)

Refers to people with cerebral palsy or similar neurological disabilities. (Ugh)

Specially Abled
Can refer to any person with a disability. (Again why sugar coat it?)

 Special Needs

Usually refers to people with learning, intellectual, or developmental disabilities, but can mean any person with a disability. (....don't even get me started.........)

Suffers from ____
Can refer to any person with a disability. (We live with,not suffer)

Non ableist

Instead of the ableist terms when talking about a non disabled person you could mean to say 

 Boring

Coward

Disgusting

Evil

Horrible

Incomprehensible
Inconsiderate
Inconsistent
Infuriating
Insensible
Irrational

For describing people with disabilities/disabled people in general:
Disabled
Has a disability
With a disability
With a chronic health condition
Has a chronic health conditionNeurodivergent ( is the diversity of human brains and minds-used to describe people who are on the autism spectrum )

Neurotypical(opposite of Neurodivergent)

I hope this gives you an idea into how you can change the way you speak in order to be more inclusive and non offensive. 

Byeeeeeee

let's talk disability

Hi,

Just a quick post as thoughts are flowing around my head and I need to get them down somehow.

So Today at this very moment we are living in a very ableist society.From inaccessible buildings and public transport networks,to throwing the word 'retarded' around as if its a joke. Every time there is a speech with no sign language,or a leaflet with no braille option,we are excluding people.We are telling people that we do not care if they are present,we do not care if they exist. Disabled people are ignored so often in today's  society,and too often when they are acknowledged they are made out to be hopeless victims or the 'problem'.

We have to start talking about disability,talking and listening to those who are physically/mentally disabled and the close people around them. We need to stop turning disabled people into victims in the brief mentions that they receive and stop using disability as a metaphor for incompetence and inability. And this change wont happen overnight-it actually really needs starts with you.




Byeeeeeeee  

'disabled' parents.......

Hi,

So I wanted to write something a bit more personal to me,as although this is a unique situation for different people, its something that is fairly common-having disabled parents.
like I said before,when it comes to disability effecting families every case is different,my family is different to my friend's and its so simple yet not many get it.

My mum and I are both physically disabled (different disabilities). A lot of the things she can't do e.g. walk,I can (sort of) and vice versa -I guess we make a good team. but I think most importantly we understand what each other is going though so we can talk about pain and hospital and medications without having to imagine too much. I lied there's something way more important,scrap everything I've said the most important thing is that we are Mother and Daughter and have that relationship, that's way more important then anything else.

Now because we have that relationship we (mostly me) get on each others nerves, its natural and its usually because I forget my mum is disabled. For instance, I was upstairs in my room listening to music, and being the lazy person I am I didn't particularly want to walk downstairs just to get a drink. So I did what most pre-teenagers do and shouted "MUUUUUUMMMMMMMM, can I have a drink please" Completely and utterly forgetting the whole wheelchair and stairs thing...... yeah even I,the total disability aware geek, did that. Cut to the end of that story a very unhappy me had to stop listening to music to get my drink myself.   

Overall, having disabled parents is cool (apart from I can't use the 'But I'm disabled' card when I don't want to do something :/) I'm going to contradict myself, they are just parents  not disabled parents-they do exactly the same thing. 

Anyway that's all I want to type so,

byeeeeeeeeeee

Why?

Hi ,

So I saw this post on Instagram awhile back and it pretty much sums up a huge misconception about ableism

Sorry for the swearing i didn't make this,but I agree strongly 

This is all true and is happening somewhere right now, a misdiagnoses could mean you life is flipped upside down or something. Being afraid to speak, like trying to tell a teacher they are patronising you,can be agonising- I'm confident behind a screen but not so much face to face. Being not seen as human is just wrong. It's wrong.

Why are we hiding this?

Why?

WELCOME 2016

Hi, 


I hope you had a great Christmas/Hanukkah/winter solstice/*enter own religious/non-religious holiday here*and got everything thing you wanted out of the holiday season. For me it was a loooooonnnnnngggg rest from school, which I don't want to end just yet.


Anyway at this time of year a lot of people are thinking about the year ahead,which for many means that they dream up a list of resolutions that quite frankly won't last. Call me pessimistic and cynical all you like, just you  wait till mid January and your sitting there in your pyjamas eating Ben and Jerry's ice cream when your resolution was to not eat chocolate or something stupidly generic like that. We've all been there!!!!

To be honest for me new year resolutions are a bit stupid and fun; we all know I'm not going to stick to them if I write them down so maybe publishing them on the inter-web they are permanent-so I'll have to complete them.

So here is my list of eight New year resolutions


1. To be myself


2. Try to see old and new friends as often as possible


3. (This is lame but) reach the targets set in your SEN review

4.Take (sensible) risks- surprise yourself

5.Be more open about life as a disabled person offline

6.Carry on blogging!


7.Accept help you need, and don't be ashamed to admit that you do


8.take a step back when you need to and don't burn out no one minds you having a break



Why have I done this? I don't know but happy 2016 and thanks for reading my crazy thoughts on stuff that even I don't get!

Happy new year

Byeeeeeee

Speech difficulties: do's and don'ts

Hi,

Recently I've been thinking about the impact of having speech and language difficulties in every day life. For me, as well as having CP, I have a minor speech difficulty which has got progressively better due to speech therapy and a lot of hard work, at one point it was so bad that only my mum and carers could understand me and now most people can.

I feel that having a speech difficulty it can be as frustrating as any disability. I mean we all have a natural instinct to voice our opinions and for people who have stammers or can't pronounce certain sounds it can be a massive barrier in every day life.

Now my experiences with disability are mostly to do with my physical disability and not so much to do with my speech so I've had to talk with different people about how it effects them and what they would like people to do differently to be inclusive. So here's a list of 5 things that in our opinion need to be hi lighted.

1. Be patient! Don't talk over them or change the subject before they have the chance to say what they have to say

2. Maintain eye contact! Don't appear to be distracted and not paying attention. Show them you care about what they are saying and that you are listening until they are able to say it.

3.if they ask you to order food for them or introduce them, don't tell them "they need to learn how" or "they need to practice" just help out!

4.DO NOT ask "what's wrong?" Or "are you sick?" You have no idea how downgrading that is.

5.DO NOT laugh or snicker when they can't quite get a word out when speaking or reading in class.

By doing these things you can boost confidence and maybe start to break the barrier of frustration.

Byeeeeeeeeeeee

The wonderful carers!

Hi,

Today I'm going to write about something that is a regular occurrence for many disabled people, including moi, but hasn't really been spoken about from a young persons point of view; having carers.

So what actually is a carer?
Well Google says 'carer-a family member or paid helper who regularly looks after a child or a sick, elderly, or disabled person.' Now this is true to an point but to so many these people are way much more they are fast thinking, supportive, non-judgmental, a companion; most importantly these people are practically our freedom-givers.

Whenever people, non-disabled or perhaps people who don't need carers, ask me about having carers it's always weird for me, 'cause I know no difference. I can't imagine a time in my life when I haven't gotten support at home or whatever. I'm extremely lucky in that sense, some disabled people have smaller packages meaning less care and less freedom I guess.

In my life time we have had about 50 odd carers. It's a lot I know but some people don't realise how hard this job really is, even I know that. But more recently that I'm more involved in the interview process and helping pick the right applicants for the role;to be honest it's really scary. I mean its a stranger. There's always that subconscious alarm in my head that she will be some sort of crazed axe murderer-it could happen! Anyway for me interviews are weird because the applicants can be dead serious and nervous and that puts me on edge.

One thing that confuses me is other people's perspective on me and my carers. Like I am pretty laid back with my carers but what do other people,who don't know that I have carers, do they think they are my sisters?,cousins?,my aunts? I don't know but it makes me wonder.
I was shopping somewhere with my mum in her wheelchair  and my carer when I was like a toddler and we had to use the staff lift and only my mum could fit in it so me,my carer and the shop assistant went down the stairs next to it. Me being an attached toddler I couldn't bare being separated from my mum so I started crying. the shop assistant said to me 'Don't worry, grandma will be out soon' implying my carer was my mum and my mum was my grandma, but the worst thing-my mum heard everything! Anyway most people do pre judge and that's one of the funniest ones I've experienced.

So in all carers are a life line for many and they really don't get the credit they deserve so a massive THANK YOU from me and I really appreciate and understand how hard and grueling this job can be.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I'll be your clown.......

Hi, 

Okay, I've always loved music, since I was a kid,listening to radio 2 with my mum on the school run for my brother, then playing the piano at school and becoming better every lesson at adapting the music so I can play with one hand and right now, listening to music while I am writing-there's just something captivating about it for me, as if I'm in my own little world with music. I feel that music can explain so much about different peoples lives and who they are. It's so special in that sense- like a conversation between  me and the artist which is unique to everyone. 

There is one song that for me sums up how I feel having a physical disability; it's a song that has no intention to be connected to disability,but it has a deep meaning for me and it's called clown by Emeli Sandé. 

 I'm going to give you my interpretation of the song:

 

I guess it's funnier from where you're standing (as in its = cerebral palsy)

Cause from over here I missed the joke (as in CP isn't funny)

Clear the way for my crash landing (you making a joke out of it knocks me back a bit)

I've done it again (I've lashed out about it before)

Another number for your notes ( number = a blog post)

I'd be smiling if I wasn't so desperate (I don't want my disability)

I'd be patient if I had the time (I want to be 'normal')

I could stop and answer all of your questions (I want people to learn about disability)

As soon as I find out 

How I can move from the back of the line (back of the line = not getting recognised for my academic side because of CP and people assuming that I am dumb)

[Chorus:]

I'll be your clown (I guess I'm labelled a 'freak' in some's eyes)

Behind the glass (being put into boxes/labelled)

Go 'head and laugh

Cause it's funny ( you laugh because you don't understand)

I would too if I saw me (I would laugh if I didn't understand)

I'll be your clown (I believe them in when they think I'm a freak)

On your favourite channel

My life's a circus circus

Round in circles (I believe them then I don't and so on...)

I'm selling out tonight

I'd be less angry if it was my decision ( decision = if I could choose to have a disability)

And the money was just rolling in

If I had more than my ambition (if I have more confidence and strength)

I'll have time for 'Please'

I'll have time for 'Thank you' (sorry that I seem ungrateful about my disability)

As soon as I win

[Chorus]

From a distance my choice is simple 

From a distance I can entertain (if you don't really know me I am an outsider and you laugh)

So you can see me

I put make-up on my face (I am not as strong and independent as you think I am)

But there's no way you can feel it

From so far away (you have absolutely no idea how it feels for me)

[Chorus]

I know it is deep but it's how I feel and music can provoke feelings that I didn't even know I had let alone anyone else, the point of this is I feel that music is a really useful tool to help explain how you feel if it's hard to explain or you don't want to even. I guess you find out a lot about people when you put yourself in their shoes and listen to music they like- it brings a whole new meaning to it. 

 

*I have just realised that I've probably broken a copyright law or something, but I would count this as an educational purpose,wouldn't you? Anyways

Hopefully This could help people express how they feel 

Byeeeeeeeeee